BOFH: How Our COVID Ransomware Protocol's Y2K Blockchain Lowered Uptime
TechTarget, Tuesday, August 19th, 2025
System administrators fabricate metrics using made-up units and trendy excuses to satisfy management reports.
The IT team creates entirely fictional performance data, using Perl scripts to generate pie charts and Venn diagrams for monthly management reports that no executive actually scrutinizes.
They cycle through convenient blame narratives, from the Internet in the 1990s to Y2K, blockchain implementation, and COVID, whenever questioned about wildly inaccurate figures such as 117 percent uptime.
When the Boss notices inconsistent terminology in their fake measurements, the PFY responds with pseudoscientific nonsense about how Google treats undefined words, deflecting further investigation through sheer technical jargon.